The Case for Leading with Rage

How healthy anger can protect our boundaries, fuel change, and prevent burnout

When you think about rage and leadership, what comes to mind?

A riled-up big-boss letting off steam in the team meeting?
Passive-aggressive email threads?
Or, like me, a frustrated, tearful meltdown in the toilets? (IYKYK, my women/AFAB leaders!)

Most of us probably think of the negative connotations of anger. We’ve all lost our temper from time to time. The majority of us will have also experienced someone else’s frustration explosion - and it’s not fun. Most leaders would probably say that keeping a cool head is paramount for running a progressive, psychologically safe organisation. But what if anger’s powerful ability to catalyse change was just as important? What if a push for change that rage elicits is actually the lifeblood of your organisation, as it is for so many in the social justice, community, creative or charity sector?

Many charities are born out of frustration or a dire need for change, especially for marginalised groups. Yet anger and frustration are generally considered bad, especially if you’ve been on the receiving end of someone with power wielding it against you, in the workplace or anywhere else.

I know, like many of us, I have a deep-rooted fear of anger. The way it was used against me as a young person set me up to suppress and distract from those fiery feelings. In fact, when I explored anger in somatic coaching practice, my body surprised me. I felt unsafe when I perceived other people’s anger. And when I expressed my own in a healthy way—hitting and shouting into a cushion, pushing my whole body weight into the wall—I felt a wave of shame so strong it made me feel sick for days. So many years of swallowing those hot, fiery feelings, of being told they were too much, too loud, too visible. It can feel safer to keep it all inside.

Anger raises cortisol and adrenaline. It’s our body’s way of telling us something is not okay. It’s a big fat “no” made physical. But when we suppress it, we pay the price. As Dr. Gabor Maté writes in When the Body Says No, “the good die young” can sadly ring true: those who consistently suppress their own needs and emotions—especially anger—in favour of pleasing others often carry stress into illness.

Healthy anger expression can be powerful. It helps us find our limits, our nos, our boundaries. I think engaging with our anger is a step towards authenticity and away from burnout. Burnout itself is when the flame has burned too long and runs out of fuel. Our adrenal glands pump out stress hormones like cortisol when we’re angry or stressed, and keeping that system on overdrive by internalising anger can wear us down over time.

Here’s an experiment for you. When you feel that rage burn up inside, don’t swallow it. Push your hands together, engaging the biggest muscles in your body—thighs, glutes, shoulders. Tense as hard as you can, then release. Keep going until you feel the wave of calm arrive. If it doesn’t, try pushing your whole weight against a wall. Scream into a pillow as hard as you can. Tears might come, or shaking. Let it move through.

Yes, this might not be the behaviour you expect to see in a workplace, but it works. As most of us work from home regularly, maybe we could turn our cameras and mics off, and have a try! These somatic tool helps you metabolise anger into action. Ask yourself: what is this rage telling me? Is a boundary being crossed? Are my ethics under attack?

For many people, expressing anger can bring up huge feelings, just like it did for me. Or maybe connecting with those deep-rooted needs and limits feels impossibly far away. If that’s the case, it might by useful to do so with further guidance and access to more tools. I can hold space for that in my somatic coaching sessions—just send me an email at hello@katiecharlton.com if you’d like to explore this together.

I’ve seen personal transformation, and transformation in my clients and teams, when people engage with these emotions rather than letting them create implosions or explosions. It’s a release valve.

One office I saw had installed a ‘scream box’—a soundproof booth where you were encouraged to make as much noise as possible, complete with a light showing how loud you’d been. A ‘scream-ometer’, no less! Many leaders encourage their teams to take a walk or do mindfulness. But would they encourage a healthy rage session? I’m not sure, but I’d love to see it.

It might help us move away from numbing, distraction, outbursts and passive-aggressive behaviours, and towards action, clarity and boundaries that keep us from burning out.

So, what do you think? Would you introduce healthy rage expression into your workplace or practice?